Everyone pack your bags, we’re taking a weekend trip to Kansas. I know, I KNOW, Kansas is like, the LAST PLACE ON EARTH you’d pick for a weekend getaway (no offense, Kansas readers), but the future of fun booty calls is at stake! Via the Kansas City Star:

Thousands of adult novelty items, from lingerie to handcuffs, are for sale in an online auction as a result of a failure of a chain of erotic stores to pay state sales, income and withholding taxes.

The merchandise was seized in July by the Kansas Department of Revenue from five adult stores in Kansas City, Kan., Topeka, Wichita and Junction City. The owner, United Outlets LLC, doing business as Bang, owes the state $163,986. (ed note: that’s a LOT of sex toys)

Although some members of Kansas’ very conservative government are appalled at the idea of “selling pornography to balance the state budget,” we think it’s a great idea and that California should take a page out of their book. Idea: local sex stores create they own lines of sex toys with their logos on them. They are donated and sold at auction, and the proceeds are given to the homeless. Then, it’s free advertising because a) AW, how nice of that sex store to help the homeless, and b) the logo will be visible during any booty call! “Why yes, this combination vibrator and anal beads that I’m using on you, as you can see by the logo, was made by The Booty Bar, a very generous and very SEXY company!”

Basically I just solved the world’s hunger crisis AND got people to open up sexually. Give me all the money now plz.

Happy Friday!