John Hamm, AKA Don Draper on the hit show Mad Men, has been all over the tabloids recently for the mere fact that he doesn’t wear underwear and thusly, his GIGANTIC MONSTER PENIS is on full display. See here and here for reference. His junk is so powerful, in fact, that rumors are swirling that AMC has asked him to start wearing underwear. That’s right, John Hamm’s penis can affect the decision-making of GIANT, MULTI-NATIONAL TELEVISION BROADCASTING SERVICES.

However, in an interview with the Hammster in Rolling Stone, we learned that he’s not super stoked on people constantly commenting on his man-piece. Via Videogum:

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek … But it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience. They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason,” he says. “I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

Aw maaaaan. I would think that if I had a slammin’ piece of man meat I’d want the world to know, but I suppose it makes sense. He’s a gentleman and a devoted boyfriend (he’s been with GF Jennifer Westfeldt since 1997), and he doesn’t want dirty paps and grimy tabloids talking about his sex-organs. Fair enough.

Doesn’t mean we’re going to stop staring, Johnny. Your penis can’t control my mindMUST STOP THINKING ABOUT JOHN HAMM’S DICK… THE HAMM BONE DEMANDS IT… YOU WILL NO LONGER THINK ABOUT JOHN HAMM’S PENIS.

Whoa… um…what were we talking about again?