Here is my problem with greeting cards: two years in a row, my grandmother bought me the same birthday card. It’s not that she was lazy and bought two of the same (and trust me, I considered it), it was that she honestly picked the same card two years in a row! Hallmark cards are THAT bland, THAT cookie-cutter, THAT BORING AND AWFUL that she didn’t realize that she chose the same one for two consecutive years. Greeting cards are the worst! The funny ones aren’t funny EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST. And the sappy ones? My god if I get a card with more that four lines of text on the front I instantly hate the person that bought it. In the words of Kevin James – “This is like HOMEWORK.”

My point is, whether or not that card up there actually said “black hoes” or “black holes,” and I am definitely leaning towards black holes because I’m pretty sure no business would purposefully do something that would ensure they lose profits, cards are dumb and shouldn’t be paid attention to. The end.