Last week, while we were busy slamming computers on our desks a la Derek Zoolander, some interesting little tidbits about celebrity marriages were gracing the gossip sites and we were SO SAD we couldn’t comment on them. Now that we have a moment, can we say AHHHHHH!!!!!!

In case you too were away from the celeb world the past few days, here’s what you missed:

#1: Kim and Kanye: Will they get a prenup?

Rumors started swirling almost immediately following Kimye’s super-totally-surprising-not-staged engagement that the two had no plans to get a pre-nup, with some “source” saying that Kanye “loves her too much.” Via YahooNews:

“Kanye’s in love with Kim to the point of infatuation. It’s scary because the love is so powerful, Kanye doesn’t even want to have a prenup,” a source told Hollywood Life. “He thinks it’s tacky and he doesn’t want to offend Kim or make anything seem awkward. He loves Kim too much for that to even cross his mind.”

Obviously, people were like BAD IDEA, BRO, but luckily that little tidbit of news had the kibbosh put on it and the following day HuffPo reported that yeah, the two would be signing a pre-nup, but not to protect Kanye from the Kardashian Kash Klan, because Kim might actually be worth MORE than her husband-to-be!

Either way, our opinion is the same: NO! DON’T DO IT! BAD IDEA! STOP! THIS WON’T END WELL! AHHHHH!

(psst – check out how many sites used the “We Want Prenup” reference in their headlines. So creative.)

News #2: Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have separated

And with this news, men worldwide rejoiced, as well as a some creepy Lord of the Rings fans who probably write Legolas fan-fic under the covers at night. Of course, Blooms publicist says it’s “amicable” and they “love each other” and blah blah blah. We just wanna know who our favorite ex-Angel is gonna hook up with next.

Our money is on either Gerard Butler or younger man Seattle Seahawk Golden Tate. Widen your horizons, gorgeous!

What do you think? Should Kimye have a prenup? Who should Miranda and Orlando date next? Will little North and Flynn grow up to be normal, well-adjusted human beings despite their parents relationships being picked apart by the public for most of their childhood? Let us know in the comments!