I know that sometimes I probably come off sounding like a insanely phobic, slightly unhinged maniac. Yes, maybe I’m terrified of scary movies and spiders and crowds and big waterslides, but even I, Queen of Careful, think that this human slingshot looks pretty damn awesome.

Sure, that bungee cord could snap and cause the person to fly at 60 miles an hour into the surrounding forest of trees, breaking their femurs and causing them to have months of unbearable pain and the need for physical therapy and boatloads of medical bills but still, it looks really –

aw, who am I kidding. NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER.