Assuming the women you meet don’t greet you with, “Hi, my name doesn’t matter, let’s go back to my apartment,” you’ll probably notice that deciphering whether a woman is just being friendly or really wants to get it on is pretty much like reading a foreign language. Let us at BCU be your Rosetta Stone for booty… Here are the top 5 ways you know you’re gonna get lucky tonight.

5. She holds eye-contact

Although it may seem like it, not all women are soulless witches who will walk away before they even give you a chance. A lot of ladies don’t mind engaging in some friendly conversation with a guy nearby. However, you may notice that she’s been holding eye contact with you for sometime. This is a good sign that she is actually interested, and not just engaging you out of pity or boredom. Key: hold her eye contact! It is a total turn on!

4. She buys you a drink

I’m gonna release a secret that may get me banned from the Women’s Alliance: we like free drinks. A lot. Some so much that they will maybe let you cop a feel if it means they go all night without spending a dime. You may think you’re mere inches from getting in her unmentionables, when all of a sudden she’s gone, like magic. This means you crossed her  free-drink-line, and she had to leave. So if she pulls out her wallet and offers to buy you a drink, you can safely assume she’s not just using you for the margaritas. Score one for you!

3. She touches you

No, no, you perv, not like that. I mean, if she leans in, touches your arm or leg, holds your arm, that kind of thing… she’s comfortable with you and doesn’t think you’re too creepy. This is a grey area, however, because some women are just touchy. If you notice her being the same way with every guy, in the vicinity, it just means she has no concept of personal space.

2. She lets you touch her

NO NO NO YOU PERV! Mind out of the gutter for one more minute- if your possible hook up doesn’t back away when your touch her back or hip or face, she’s definitely down for the possibility of a hook up. She obviously enjoys the idea of you touching her, and is probably thinking about other ways that could happen.

1. She talks dirty

This is the paramount of signs that you will be getting laid. It might be subtle, innuendo filled, or accompanied by shy smiles, but if she mentions sex, herself, and you within the same paragraph*, you will be getting laid. This is a fact**.

*Unless that paragraph is “There is no way in hell I will have SEX with YOU.”
**Not really.