Ed. Note: Ugh – this weekend was rough, huh? With the acquittal of George Zimmerman and the death of troubled Glee star Corey Monteith, there’s a lot to be thankful for in our own lives. Hug someone today and tell them you care, because you never know when they might be gone. And now back to your regular scheduled debauchery.

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BEARS:

Step 1: Act like you just ingested a lethal dose of bath salts.
Step 2: Act like you just ate a couple too many magic mushrooms, and are pretty sure there’s a talking camel in front of you with whom you are NOT interested in having a conversation.
Step 3: Act like you just did a little meth and GOD, THERE ARE BUGS EVERYWHERE, EVERYWHERE!
Step 4: Act like you just smoked pot for the first time and are convinced your parents can hear you, even though you’re 500 miles away.
Step 5: Act like you’re on a two day PCP bender and just want to YELL AT THE WOOOOORLD.
Step 6: Act like it’s the day after Burning Man, you just did all those things, and your body is shutting down and imploding in upon itself.

TA-DA! NO BEAR ATTACK!