How to Learn What Your Fantasy Is
If you’re stuck at home, cut off from your normal routine of hookups from OBC, you might be wondering what you can do in this time of lockdown to keep your sexual muscles toned and strong. A good way to spend this time? Learn what your deepest fantasy is!
“Keep in mind, fantasies come in all different stripes,” New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, the author of “She Comes First,” told HuffPost. “Some of my patients have kinky fantasies, some have sensual fantasies, some fantasize about sex with others, some fantasize about sexual situations with their current partners.”
Common fantasies include role-playing, power dynamics like dominance and submission, threesomes or group sex, “forced” sex, voyeurism and (if you identify as straight) having sex with someone of the same gender ? just to name a few.
We love this idea! Why not explore some sides of your sexuality you’ve never delved into before? So what IS a fantasy? And how do you identify. your own?
“A fantasy is first and foremost a ‘thought,’ which means it doesn’t have to become an actual thing you do, and most of my patients don’t actually want their fantasies to come true,” Kerner said. “They just want to enjoy them in the comfort of their own erotic imagination or share them with a partner.”
If you want to tap into your fantasies, start by thinking back to your early sex-related memories. Ask yourself what you thought sex was at that time and what about it seemed appealing to you.
Your actual experiences with sex might also contain clues about what turns you on,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin, creator of the online course Rediscovering Desire, wrote for Bustle. “What are your top five sexual experiences? Is there anything that most of them have in common? Or is there anything that really stands out?”
Great tips – we’re all about this idea to find out what really turns us on. Our recommendation? Take the steps from these therapists, and then see if you can find a local single on OBC to chat about these fantasies with. You might find out someone just around the corner has the same sexy steamy thoughts you do!
