Last week we talked about cleaning up your dating headline, turning it from a repulsive beast into a stunningly attractive belle of the ball. This week in BCU How Tos, we thought it a good idea to discuss the REST of your profile. Whether you’re on OBC looking for a hot night out with a fun singleton, or on some other site looking for long term (barf, vom, ick), we’re here to give you the run down on the awesome “yes, please!”s and the terrible “no, thank you”s of profiles. Let’s begin.

YES, PLEASE: Be positive!

Not unlike your dating profile headline, the body of your profile should be a list of the great things about you, and the great things you’re looking for in a date. You should be able to say “YES PLEASE” to each and every standard that you have… for example, it should say, “loves honest, straight-forward people with a great attitude” (YES, PLEASE!), instead of “hates lying, shady a**holes who are big d-bags” (…yes, uh… please?) See? It doesn’t quite work. Peoples’ moods tend to reflect off whatever they are reading, and you don’t want people to leave your profile with a bad taste in their mouth.

NO, THANK YOU: Copy-and-pasted rubbish

Let’s be honest here. Walking on the beach isn’t fun. It’s boring. Candlelit dinners? Stuffy and pretentious. Laughing with friends? NO SH*T, SHERLOCK. WHO DOESN’T LIKE LAUGHING WITH FRIENDS. If your profile looks like it could have come out of a how-to course from the 1990s, it needs personalization and revamping. A good rule of thumb is to think of a hobby or skill you have that is rare or interesting. Do you know how to rock climb? Can you write a song about someone in 15 minutes? Do you make a mean lasagna? Things like that are quirky, interesting facts about a person that set them apart from the crowd.

YES, PLEASE: Thorough but to-the-point

Before you send a message to someone, you’d like to know at least somewhat what you’re getting into, right? You aren’t going to blindly send a message to a person just based on their existence on the site, are you? So why would anyone message you without some sort of revealing information? You don’t need to talk about your ex-husband or your high-blood pressure or anything like that, of course, but giving a few clues as to your likes and dislikes and personality is a good way to paint a mini-portrait of yourself. On the other hand, a wall of text about each and every hobby you’ve picked up over the span of your life and your schedule for the next two weeks is not only unnecessary, but will most-likely remain unread.

NO, THANK YOU: Dirty, dirty

Even if you’re on OBC or another casual dating site, there is no reason to flood your profile with raunchy text. Save it for the bedroom, Romeo. Yes, I specified guys here because for some reasons it is usually dudes who think that women want to know “wat I wud do 2 ur p****.” Newsflash: we don’t. Like I said, even on a site like OBC, where casual dating and hooking up is promoted, women are not turned on by your gratuitous porn-speak. Stick to terms like “have a good time,” and “see where the night takes us” because while they imply a sexual adventure might happen, they don’t sound like they’re coming from a potential rapist.

Following our simple tips, you should end up with a good-lookin’, attractive profile that will catch peoples’ eyes as they’re perusing through the bloody battle ground that is most dating profiles. Combine that with a great profile photo (see our how to for that), and you’ll get a hot date in no time.

Do you have any tips for dating profiles? Leave em in the comments!