Sometimes the internet does a phenomenal job of being itself. For example when I’m trying to find out if this rash is contagious. Or if I really need to know the lyrics to a song that everyone stopped singing in 1989. Or when I am shopping for a Nazi flag for my Jewish friend because I thought he’d think it was funny but boy oh boy he did NOT think it was funny.

Other times, though, the internet fails miserably, like when I accidentally watched ‘2 Girls 1 Cup’ when I searched “soft serve machine,” or when I couldn’t find a Ewok costume in my size (for a friend that is my size, obviously), or when THIS GLORIOUS MOMENT HAPPENED DURING A RAYS GAME AND ALL WE HAVE IS ONE CRAPPY NANOSECOND CLIP OF IT. Internet soldiers, YOU HAVE FAILED US ALL.