Thanksgiving may have passed, but the holidays are just getting started. And if you’re in the midst of a fresh and blooming relationship, or maybe just a booty call that’s getting a bit more serious, you might be wondering: do I bring my casual significant other to dinner? That thought alone gets me all sweaty and uncomfortable, but if you’ve got the type of family that want to know “WHO’S BEEN KEEPING YOU SO BUSY YOU DON’T VISIT ANYMORE,” then this might be the time to start deciding whether your (heretofore referred to as) friend-plus should come to meet the parents. We’ve collected a few of the questions we think are of most importance when making up your mind. Deep breath, pre-emptive stress vomit, and let’s go:

1. Hold up one second. Does your friend-plus want to meet the parents?

In this day and age, people seem to be divided. On one hand, some are down-for-whatever. “Hell yeah I’ll meet your parents, will there be food?” -those people. On the other hand, some (me) say, “NO THANKS NOT TILL THE WEDDING IS A WEEK AWAY.” While that might be a bit of an exaggeration, it is true that some folks are just not as keen on meeting a date’s extended family right away. Whether it’s a prinicipled stance against getting too attached too early, or just shyness, there’s no reason to force someone you’re dating to meet the fam right away if they’re not interested. So first things first – “Hey, would you have any interest in coming to my family’s holiday dinner?”

2. Let’s talk about your family, shall we?

You love your family. I mean, you might hate your family, but you were born into their life, learned their ways and how to get out of the uncomfortable conversations that inevitably arise. Your friend+, on the other hand, has just met them. Will your uncle ask if they’re “a gay” since they voted for Obama? Will your mother ask if you guys have ever shared a bed in the Biblical sense? Will your half sister say they look exactly like your ex, who you loved so much? These situations can ruin a person’s night, so if your family is prone to awkward conversation (or hitting the bottle too hard), your best bet is to wait until next year, so you can properly prepare them. If, on the other hand, your family is polite, fun, and aren’t likely to Drunk Uncle your night into oblivion, then go for it, and also I hate you.

3. How about your traditions?

Maybe your family has a centuries old Welsh tradition of a completely silent dinnertime. Or maybe your family are Southern Baptists who will be offended if you don’t attend Christmas Eve service and punctuate the sermon with anything less than 12 “AMEN!”s. Maybe the “newest member” of the family is supposed to stand up and give a toast to the oldest person at the table. In Hebrew. Make sure you go over your family’s weird holiday traditions and think, “had I not grown up with this, would I be tempted to jump out a window rather than participate?”

4. Are you prepared for the questions?

Sure, you and your friend+ may have a respectful agreement about your relationship – booty call, casually dating, “seeing where this goes”, there are dozens of ways to phrase it, but there are still folks out there who don’t recognize any of those as legitimate relationships. So, when your grandmother says, “AND YOU ARE CANDICE’S…what???” How will you two respond? Will you say, “we’re just dating,” or “we’re good friends,” or “we’ve been seeing each other for some time now”? You should both agree on this beforehand so as to not be caught going “uhhhhh” in a seconds-feel-like-centuries staring contest from hell with your grandmammy and the guy or girl you’ve been screwing on the couch for a month. Oh, and on that note:

5. Where will you be sleeping?

If your family lives out of town, will you be staying at their house? Are they okay with you sharing a room and/or bed? Will you be split between a loveseat in the basement and a pull out bed with your 12-year-old sister? Or will you guys get a hotel? These are important things to ask yourself and your friend+, because personally, listening to a 12-year-old girl I’m not related to snore through her retainer in a house I’ve never been to might be a dealbreaker. Sure, it’s cute that you wanted to bring me to dinner, but this. is. torture.

,i>There you have it. 5 easy (well, I suppose easy is a subjective term) questions to ask yourself before making the big decision to bring your booty call home for holidays. What about you? Got any tips or horror stories? We’d love to hear either. Specifically the horror stories.