Thanksgiving is over, but the holidays have just begun. With the colder weather, holiday sales, heading back to your hometown, and of course Christmas, the “holiday spirit” is fairly unavoidable. And by “holiday spirit” of course, I mean the crushing tension, aneurysm-inducing stress, and a desire to lock yourself in a room with a bottle of whiskey and the box set of The Sopranos for the next month and a half.

Instead of succumbing to that, though, we members of #teamSINGLE should enjoy the holiday season for exactly what it is: an opportunity to have fun, spend time with friends and family, and, as always, GET BOOTY. This week, we’ll be sharing holiday-prep tips for the singletons (and non-singletons) out there, to help them have a (somewhat) stress free holiday season.

Today, we share tip #1: How to Hook Up When You’re Heading Home for the Holidays

You’ve moved away from home for a job or college, but the season mandates that you pack up and drive back to a place you left years ago. On purpose. Because you hated it. Most of you is thinking “UUUGHHHH,” but at least a little bit of you is a nervous-excited-anxious to see all the friends (or more-than-friends) you knew so well. Have they changed? Did they get fat? Did they blossom from ugly duckling to Playboy model because that would seriously be unfair?

Either way, we have some crucial dos and don’ts to make sure you don’t make an ass out of yourself in front of people you’ve known since you were six. Learn them, love them, follow them.

DO make a good first impression

Iron your shirt, shave your neckbeard (or armpits, whichevs), and put on a smile. Yes, these people know you, but this is basically a practice round for a high school reunion. The last thing you want is to give a former crush the chance to think “man, thank GOD we broke up before that double chin developed.”

DON’T be a show-off

Even if you’ve nabbed the job of your dreams, no one wants to hear you spout off about how AWESOME your life is. Let people know you’re really happy, and excited for the future, and feel thankful to have a job in a crummy economy, so you sound grounded instead of arrogant. And similarly, don’t go off about how you’ve been getting laid left and right – or you probably go home solo.

DO keep your drinking moderate

We say this in all of our dating tips posts, but only because it’s so crucial. If you’re stumbling over yourself and slurring and awkwardly slobbering over everyone, no one is gonna think “mmm… I want THAT in my bed tonight!” But if you have a couple drinks, keep your cool, and maybe help someone else who DIDN’T read our tips, you’ll look classy, pulled together, and grown up: all desirable traits.

DON’T try and work your way through your whole friend group.

Sure you might be proud of yourself for hooking up with three exes in the span of 6 days, but you’ll leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth (sometimes maybe even literally), and your chances of hooking up on the next holiday will be greatly diminished. So find one booty call for the week and save the others for the next time you visit home. And as always, remember to practice safe sex. You may picture that her as the innocent girl from your high school, but you never know what she picked up at Florida State. You never know.

Img via Sheckys