If you’ve ever felt you’re a little lacking in the manhood department, and you’ve tried all the strange methods of making your penis actually GROW – you might be interested in this new tip to make your junk just feel a little heftier.

For example, a penis pump:

Via VICE:

A penis pump, as our buds at Mayo Clinic explain, “consists of a plastic tube that fits over the penis, a hand or battery-powered pump attached to the tube, and a band that fits around the base of the penis once it is erect (constriction ring).” When used properly, it can be really effective at increasing blood flow and keeping you harder, longer. The positive reviews for this model by Blush say it all: “First time using it I increased size by over an inch length and 1.5 inch girth. Well worth it,” writes one buyer. Another adds, “Many men scoff at the idea of using a clear, Lucite cylinder and a pump to enlarge your penis. When used properly, it actually WORKS!”

Or, a penis extender:

How fun is this? Easily cleanable, and in a lovely shade of what we’ll call smoked jellyfish, this reusable penis sleeve is a great way to help bring a partner with a vagina (and eager anus) to climax. Or to wear around the house whilst making bucatini. 

And if you just want to LOOK bigger? Try these undies:

According to those in the online, male underwear discourse, one of the best pairs of underwear for making your junk look bigger (after some strategic ball-to-peen placement) are pocket boxer briefs by the brand David Archie, because they lift–but doesn’t flatten–all your goods. They have 4.5 stars on Amazon, almost 3,000 stellar ratings, and are kind of giving Mr. Klein a run for his money. “These pairs were perfect for everyday wear,” writes one reviewer, “Given that you can get four of the David Archy pairs for what it costs to get one of the Calvin Klein pairs, there’s no comparison.”