Good morning, happy Monday, welcome to April, blah blah blah, now stop eating your Captain Crunch and prepare your gag reflex for the most disgusting news since that guy dude from Lost married that old woman pretending to be a teenager. According to Reuters, a Chinese tradition has been revealed that brings a whole new level of “ugh” to “disg-UGH-sting.”

In the Zhejiang province, street vendors sell a product called “virgin boy eggs” which are eggs cooked in the urine of young boys, collected from school bathrooms across the area.

I am getting that salivating feeling in my mouth that generally means I’m about to yak, so let me hand the story-telling back to Reuters:

It takes nearly an entire day to make these unique eggs, starting off by soaking and then boiling raw eggs in a pot of urine. After that, the shells of the hard-boiled eggs are cracked and they continue to simmer in urine for hours.

Maybe you’re thinking that this is one of those foods that no one but the VERY OLD and traditional members of society eats, but that’s not the case:

“They are good for your health. Our family has them for every meal. In Dongyang, every family likes eating them.“

Oh, and what do they mean by “good for your health”?

“”If you eat this, you will not get heat stroke. By eating these eggs, we will not have any pain in our waists, legs and joints. Also, you will have more energy when you work.”

Yeah, um… I don’t know about you, but I think I’ll take the arthritis and fatigue if it means I don’t have to EAT EGGS COOKED IN THE URINE OF CHILDREN. UUUGHHHHHHH.

Well, anyway. Enjoy your omelette.