Well, its BCUs last post before the Halloween weekend, so instead of providing you the normal Three Things You Have to Do This Weekend, we’ve decided to give you a little more advice with some dos and don’ts for this most debaucherous of weekends. Take heed, because this is your last big party holiday until New Years, so make it count.

1) DO dress up

I don’t know why I have to emphasize this, but I do. Each and every Halloween we see those few gals (and mostly guys) who haven’t even taken the time to scrape together even the most menial of costumes. And although we can all say that yes, we are grown ups and Halloween is, for all intents and purposes, a holiday for children and candy companies, if you’re gonna make this weekend a party weekend you better the hell have a costume on. The standards of douchebaggery this weekend are different than any other time of the year in that the more obnoxiously overdressed you are, the cooler you are, and vice versa.

2) DO NOT have props

Okay, a couple little gadgets on your belt or whatever are fine, but if you are carrying around a giant baby bottle or cheerleader pom poms, you’re going to get irritated really quick. Or else someone you’re jabbing with it is going to get irritated. Or else a bouncer is going to get irritated, and that is the LAST thing you wanna do to a bouncer on one of the most hectic nights of the year. He will not hesitate to throw you out of the club.

3) DO act the part

No pick up lines needed on this night as long as you are equipped with a few character-appropriate sentences that you can throw out at any particular moment. Ron Burgundy? “I want to be on you.” A sexy cat? “I’ve been a bad kitty.” Jabba the Hutt? “OMSNOMISCA HAN SOOOLOOO.”

Okay maybe not the last one, but you get the jist.

4) DON’T be vulgar

This goes out, mostly, to the dudes out there. As we know, 92.5% of women will be out dressed like common street-walking whores. This is a fact that we have all come to terms with, and I think it’s safe to say that no matter how slutty the outfit, come Monday you will still see them as a classy lady who just had a crazy weekend, right? Right. Now that means that while you are, of course, allowed to comment on the sexiness of said girl’s outfit, you may not call her obscene names, grab her offensively, or you know, shove your tongue in her mouth. Keep it flirty and fun and you will probably end up finding a hot nurse or her less-than-hot french maid friend to get some role-playing booty with.

5) DO take pictures!

Halloween is a great holiday to take photos of so that you can always keep the memories of being young and having fun. When you are 80 and have grandchildren who are part-cyborg and no longer celebrate holidays, you can show them pictures and say, “back then, little one, we had a day when all women took off their clothes and got wasted and children took candy from strangers. Those were the days!” But if you don’t have photos to provide proof, your robot-grandchildren won’t ever believe you. Take PICTURES!

Have fun, weekend warriors, and stay safe-ish!