This weekend is St. Patrick’s Day. Yep, you heard right – the quintessential day of drunk is falling on a weekend day this year, for the first time in years. Meaning, for those of us in who occasionally cocktail waitress for parties – you all are going to ruin my weekend. Sure, every year there are the wastey-faces who cause a scene and throw up in the bathroom and cry on the street corners, but this year almost no one will have to work the day after, so the amount of black outs will likely reach catastrophic levels. Lovely. Just lovely.

In celebration of this most horrific joyous of events, here is this years’ Guinness St. Patrick’s Day ad, which I will try to imagine in my head when one of you spills a green beer all over me in two days. DEEP BREATH.