A grocery clerk in Albuquerque, New Mexico, is currently facing up to 5 years in prison after allegedly ejaculating into a sample of yogurt and then forcing it upon a woman in his store.

Anthony Garcia, a 32-year-old man with a history of sexual crime charges, was handing out yogurt samples at Sunflower Farms Market when he apparently took interest in a woman who was shopping with her daughter. According to the victim, Garcia seemed “pushy” about her trying to yogurt sample, and when she finally did, she noted that it tasted “gross and disgusting,” and even mentioned that it tasted like semen. Garcia of course denied tainting the yogurt sample, but a DNA test proved otherwise. Anthony Garcia did in fact splooge into a tiny cup of yogurt and then make an innocent bystander eat it. GAG.

TheSmokingGun claims that Garcia could face up to 5 years in prison for lying to federal authorities about the incident. Garcia has before been charged with masturbating outside an elementary school, masturbating outside an apartment complex, exposing himself at a Wal-Mart and then to a passing jogger, and is currently under investigation for child molestation. So, I ask the state of New Mexico – a) WHY WAS THIS PERV STILL ON THE STREET, and b) will he be joining the lawsuit to demand porn and video games in his cell? I’m guessing yes.

Oh, and by the way, I take particular offense to this crime because I happen to go hardcore Sampling at Costco weekly, and take it VERY seriously, and now I’m going to have to worry if the nice lady handing out Tostino Pizza Rolls has rubbed her crusty va-jay all over it. THANKS, ANTHONY.