“Hahaha! Look at this sign that was hanging near a urinal in the bathroom of an engagement ring store. OMG. I can’t believe they would say that! This is hilarious. I would totally move to Bali and yes, start my bach- wait… What? Forlorn? Emotionally vacant? Well, that’s not an exactly accurate portrayal of bachelorhood, I mean, sure sometimes I don’t shower but I’m also out gettin’ booty left and right and not spending a third of my income on a stupid rock that many many African children die for everyday, didn’t you see Blood Diamond?!! Yeah, you know what, f— this sign. YOU’RE DUMB, ENGAGEMENT RING STORE BATHROOM SIGN. DON’T JUDGE ME.”   — Guy about to buy an engagement ring