San Diego, I have learned, has the highest number of DUIs per capita of any city in the ENTIRE UNITED STATES. I blame this on several factors: a horrific lack of public transportation, lack of alcohol education in high school, and urban sprawl so widespread that cab fares are nearly unfathomable as a young adult in a struggling economy. Oh, also bad choices. Still, to avoid DUIs I have seen people take drastic measures… sleeping in their cars, attempting to WALK the 15 miles home, and even asking random strangers on the street for rides home (I have been that stranger… the joys of cocktail waitressing). However, I’ve never heard of someone asking their CHILD to drive them home. That award goes to a man in Florida named Walter Sikkenga, who was arrested for felony child endangerment when he had his nine-year-old son attempt to drive he and his wife home because they were too intoxicated to drive.

Their son crashed into a guard rail (possibly because he couldn’t see over the steering wheel or reach the brakes), and a passerby called the cops after realizing that there was a child behind the wheel. Police showed up and arrested Sikkenga.This is even worse than when that lady had her 6-year-old back out of the parking spot a couple months back.

This lovely dumb criminal alert has THREE morals: a) don’t get so wasted at a restaurant that you can’t drive your FAMILY HOME SAFELY, b) if you do, call a friggin’ cab, and c) don’t ever drive after dark in Florida because there could be 4TH GRADERS BEHIND THE WHEEL.

Score one for Florida! GO TEAM!

Image via myteenagewerewolf