2011 has been a golden age for dumb criminals. Perhaps it was just the internet making mug shots and police reports more widely available, or maybe it was just a fad, like planking except actually funny. Either way, we have seen some of the most glorious dumb criminals of all time in the past eight months, and this guy is no exception.

When Gordon Flavia acccidentally plowed his Jeep right through a condo garage and into a portable toilet, he knew he was in for some trouble. He was clearly intoxicated and probably headed to jail. So he did what any self-respecting 57-year-old would do – he picked up a bucket of feces and doused himself in it, to “throw off the scent, because he thought dogs were coming.”

Because clearly, while dogs can smell the vaguest hint of drugs or alcohol on a person, they definitely can’t smell the rotting waste of human beings.

Oddly enough, this story comes from Longview, Washington, a state we have yet to harp on in our earlier editions of the Dumb Crime Alert. We’ve got our eye on you now, Northeast.

Via TDN.com