Marital bliss… every girl dreams of it, right? Being in love, celebrating your commitment, creating a home and having a family… HA. I mean, sure, some people stay married for 50 years, claiming their wedding day was the happiest day of their life. But for the rest of us sane people in the world, here are a few reasons you should avoid those wedding bells like the plague.

5. You’ll let yourself go

Sure, you’ll occasionally see those creepy, protein powder-eating couples, whose monthly dates consist of exercising on neighboring stairclimbers. This is not the norm, though, and it’s been proven through many studies that marriage breeds laziness. Imagine yourself in 5 years, sitting on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy, and realizing that you somehow put on 35 pounds without even realizing.

4. You’ll probably get divorced

Sometime in the last ten years, the divorce rate clicked over from 50 to 51%. Which means, divorced couples are in the majority these days. And divorce will take a toll on your emotions, psyche, and and wallet. Not to mention when people ask you if you’re seeing anyone, you’ll have to say, “actually, I’m divorced.” This isn’t the biggest turn on.

3. It’s expensive

Last year, the average wedding cost almost $30 grand. Imagine the things you could buy with dough like that. A new car, a house addition, a whole buncha strippers… The possibilities are endless. And considering the above point, you’ll end up shelling out more money once your divorce papers go through.

2. It’s the end of  spontaneity

Remember that time you and your significant other just decided to get in the car, drive out to Vegas, and party your faces off for 48 hours? That was some epic sex, wasn’t it? Marriage puts an end to this ever happening. Not only will a dry-erase calendar magically find its way to your fridge, but there will actually be things written on it, like “Dentist appointment, 2:30,” and “Grey’s Anatomy night.” Why would you go on a fancy trip when you could watch court room dramas for 6 straight hours?

1. No more options

Bringing crazy chicks home from bars, getting it on with a neighbor, calling up an ex to have some reminiscence sex in an elevator… Say goodbye to that.