Considering the plot of the E! reality show ‘Girls Next Door,’ you might have been surprised when Hugh Hefner finally decided to get married (for the third time) to 24-year-old Crystal Harris. You were probably less shocked when you found out that she called off the marriage just days before the wedding. She might have been in a birth control-induced stupor or maybe just realized that she was going to marry a man who is six decades older than her. However, according to Hefner’s recent tweets, there might be somewhat more sinister reasons in play.

After a string of sad messages claiming he had the support of his friends and several of his exes, Hef left one final cryptic tweet, a RT of a message from a fan:

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

That’s right, it seems as though Crystal Harris’ “shocking” runaway bride move came on the DAY her single, “Club Queen,” came out (which by the way, is a super classy song title for a super classy lady). So… could that confirm what we were all thinking the whole time? That Crystal Harris is a borderline prostitute who slept with an octogenarian and accepted his proposal just long enough to benefit from it before she bounced? That’s sure what it looks like. We’ll keep you updated, but until then,

Shady b****es, party of one,  YOUR TABLE IN HELL IS READY.