How was your Labor Day? WAS IT AWESOME? I’m sorry for yelling, but as you know, I love American holidays. I may be a left-wing communist Obama-loving hippie, but give me a tiny American flag and a cheeseburger BBQ and I will shout/sing The National Anthem all night (people love when you sing the National Anthem all night, by the way, in case you were thinking about trying that at your next party.).

This news segment is no surprise just after Labor Day, of course, as it features a Texas man frying up an item that has no business being fried: marshmallows dipped in bubble gum extract, and then drizzling them in blue icing and topping them with chiclets, and just TRY not to feel the first pangs of a heart attack.

My favorite part of this video? They actually show the gumball being dipped into the fryer. Most video editors would leave out the part where you watch the marshmallow absorb your yearly allotment of cholesterol, but not this rogue Texan! He wants you to see IT ALLLLLLLL.