Reason #429,301 not to leave the house: a f*cking CROCODILE might get on the plane and murder you all.

So, it turns out the hilariously terrible Samuel L Jackson flick, Snakes on a Plane, was actually a CAUTIONARY tale,  because apparently reptiles have absolutely no problem boarding and then wreaking havoc on airborne transports. According to Australian reports, a stowaway crocodile made its way onto an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, causing an onboard stampede, which caused the plane to crash into a house, killing 19 people, and leaving only one survivor to tell the horrific tale.

Great. So not only do I need to worry about birds getting sucked into engines, violent turbulence, and the general idea that a 450 ton hunk of metal is attempting to FLOAT in the AIR, but now I should also consider the very real potential that a dinosaur killing machine (basically) might be on board too? Are you trying to turn me into a hermit, Universe?!!!

I imagine next weeks headline to read: Killer Elephant Finds its Way Onto Cruise Ship – Systematically eats all passengers except one blind elderly woman.

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