Maybe it’s just because I’m an old fart who doesn’t like all these newfangled whoosi-whatsits, but this whole upsurge in the invention of robotic mouths and Real Dolls and robot prostitutes is really rubbing me the wrong way. Sex and hugs and kisses are supposed to be between two human people who met on OBC, THAT’S THE WAY GOD INTENDED IT. Maybe I sound like an old racist, but I just think that people shouldn’t be intermixin’ with those gol-durn robot folk!

This weekend is Cinco De Mayo, and I’m sure we’ll all be going out and having a good time with our old pal Tequila, who is really good at getting us in a frisky mood. Just remember that if and when that happens, turn to OBC to find yourself a bed mate. We have LITERALLY millions of humans looking for the exact same thing you are. There is NO NEED TO TURN TO ROBOT “COMPANIONS”. It’s CREEPY, and GROSS, and EMBARRASSING, and yer paw said he don’t want none of their kind comin’ in the house, y’hear?!