I break a lot of promises. Like that I’ll call my mom everyday, or that I’ll actually go to the gym every day. And I’m about to break my promise that I’d stop reporting anything about Charlie “Trainwreck of the Century” Sheen, because this news is too ridiculous to pass up. I could ignore the part where Brooke Mueller got caught cracked out at a pawn shop, and I could ignore CharChar bringing one of his prostitutes I mean goddesses to a court hearing about getting custody of his children.

What I couldn’t ignore, though (although apparently I’m a week late) is that they made a CHARLIE SHEEN SEX DOLL, and THANK GOD, because I know that every time I whip out my little battery-powered boyfriend the first person to come to mind is a chain-smoking, 6 toothed old man who is aging at light speed, HOW ABOUT YOU?!

Needless to say, it sold out. IT SOLD OUT. I mean, disgusting as it was, I could understand the Miley Cyrus doll selling out. I could even understand the Snooki one selling out. BUT CHARLIE SHEEN?

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!