Celery is a very versatile vegetable, from being the garnish you ignore in your hot wing basket to “ants on a log” childhood lunch staples. However, recent studies have given guys a new reason to start chomping on that nothing-flavored plant: it’s makes you more attractive to women!

According to the authors of the book Stay Young: Ten Proven Steps to Ultimate Health, celery actually increases the amount of pheromones a man excretes in his sweat. Pheromones, of course are the chemicals that humans decipher as signals to, well, get some booty, so apparently, adding more celery to your diet will basically make women impervious to your sexual advances!

The effects of eating celery are almost immediate, which is great considering our need for immediate gratification, and they don’t stop once you’ve snagged the girl. The authors also say that eating celery will increase your sex drive and create stronger climaxes.

Get to the grocery store quick and “stalk” up on celery today before the word gets out! And don’t make fun on my dumb joke or I’ll be forced to punch you in the head.

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