Reason #422 not to get married (or why not to do meth): your husband might drive across a city with you holding on for dear life to the hood of his car. According to Reuters, a man cracked out on methamphetamines was arrested last week for driving 40 miles at speeds of upwards of 100 […]
Just when you thought that Charlie Sheen took the cake for the nuttiest weirdo out there, you find out about Reverend Grant Storms, the vehemently anti-gay Christian pastor from Louisiana, was found outside a children’s playground masturbating in his van. According to the Huffington Post, two women spotted him looking a little suspicious by the […]
It’s time for another edition of “Stories Behind the Crime Report.“ Meet Rodney Knight. A DC resident and aspiring party-planner, Rodney thought it would be a great idea to let the local residents know the excitement and fun that he could bring to a surprise birthday party (because surprise parties, of course, are the best […]
TOO… MANY… JOKES. CAN NOT… PICK. The DOMAINfest Global Conference hosted by the Playboy Mansion on February 3rd has caused some rather… unfortunate yields this week, as an outbreak of the disease legionellosis has officially sickened 170 attendees. The disease, which is known for “symptoms mostly consisting of fever, chills, general discomfort (malaise) and some […]
You know, there has been some weeeeird sh*t on the internet this week. Cringe-worthy and disgusting (this woman who eats her own poop) to mind-bendingly scary (Bristol Palin saying she could run for office someday), you all should be thanking me for not forcing you to experience it even though I watched it just for […]
There once was a time when crime was almost a noble venture. Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor! Pirating on the high seas! Being a jewel thief or a crazy serial killer like Jack the Ripper! These days, though, most criminals are just, well, retarded. Even aside from the fact that people […]
Sometimes I think that people wake up one morning and just think, “You know what would be great? Getting on an episode of World’s Dumbest Criminals! So great, and definitely good for our reputations at criminals.” Then again, there is a reason they are given the title ‘World’s Dumbest’, and it’s because there was probably […]
AND WE’RE BACK, with reason #12,720 that you should stay single: your husband might SHOOT YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX. Now, I’m all for some kinkiness in the bedroom, and I can imagine that after many years together things tend to get stale and you might want to spice things up and try new […]
It’s beginning earlier and earlier these days: the mental disease I have dubbed “maritally induced insanity.” Although it usually takes a few years for people to start going nuts and stabbing each other and singing Christmas carols at the cops, this man in Brazil shows that the crazy disorder can be tipped off just moments […]
Paris in the fall… so romantic, so beautiful, so aerial view of a penis drawn in the snow from the Eiffel tower. What a lovely way to wake up on a Wednesday morning, right? Happy hump day, readers!
