WOO! We’re back from a three-day weekend. Did you have a god time? Do anything fun and healthy? Meet a new booty call, perhaps? End up not getting off the couch and binge-watching the new season of Arrested Development, only to be left phenomenally disappointed?

Well, we’re back to Monday Tuesday (so that’s at least better, right?!) and it’s time to get back in the game, starting with your weekly BAD IDEA: slapping Beyonce’s ass in the middle of a concert when HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.

BAD IDEA, BRO.

Look, we all know Beyonce has one of the greatest butts in the biz. Despite her publicist’s attempts to scrub the internet of any unflattering pictures, she looked AMAZING at the Super Bowl, and I’m sure everyone in the crowd was thinking, “man I’d like to get a little slap of that booty.” But guess what, THEY DON’T, because there are more security guards at the Super Bowl than a presidential press conference. And yeah, I guess you’ll be able to walk the streets saying, “I slapped Beyonce’s ass” for a few minutes, until Jay-Z hears and beats the crap out of you in the parking lot, and everyone who knows what you did considers you a misogynistic pig with no respect for women and then you never get laid again.

I dunno, but I’d probably say that slapping Beyonce’s ass in the middle of a concert is a BAD IDEA, BRO.