Prepare yourself for your weekly dose of WTF: according to a report by BuzzFeed, there has been a sharp rise of Australian prisoners arriving at hospitals with strange genital infections resulting from self-performed penile implants.

Let me give you a second to set in. Self-performed. Penis. Implants. Ready to move on? Okay.

A recent study by PLOS One showed that over 5% of inmates admitted to giving themselves a penile implant at one time, using a method that makes even this non-penised individual cringe: opening up their foreskins with a ball-point pen, and then “inserting foreign objects, such as ball bearings, Domino pieces, melted down toothpaste caps, small bells, buttons, rubber erasers, deodorant roller balls, and pieces of dice.”

Obviously, a lack of sterilization in this procedure has caused pain and suffering for many of the inmates, which makes the whole process pretty incomprehensible. According to one of the authors of the study, the reason behind the penile implants is simple: “boredom.”

Dear Australian inmates,

Here are some things you can do with your time that don’t involve destroying your man junk:

1. reading
2. writing
3. learning a new language
4. learning complex math equations
5. self-tattooing
6. becoming a toilet wine sommelier
7. pushups
8. hair dolls
9. putting implants in like, any other part of your body
10. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE, LIKE SERIOUSLY. ANYTHING.