We’ve said it a hundred times and we’ll say it a hundred more: we’re staunchly anti-drunk-driving. Cab prices are far less than paying fines for a DUI, and the chance that you could kill yourself or someone else is too high for it to be acceptable to risk it. HOWEVER, on the absolutely ZERO percent chance that we’d EVER get behind the wheel with a buzz, we could only hope for an excuse as genius as this one:

Cricket star Graeme Swann (I don’t know what any of those words mean) was pulled over in his Porsche Cayenne in the early morning and was found to have a BAC around .08. When the officer asked him what he was doing driving, he explained that after getting home from the bar, he realized his cat was stuck under the floor boards so he had to go buy a screwdriver to get him out. The officer who pulled him over was quoted saying, ” “His speech was slightly slurred but he was compliant. He was slightly upset due to the fact of his cat and what had just happened.”

Apparently, Swann is pleading not guilty to the DUI. Which is kind of hilarious but leads me to this nagging question:

Why does a grown man who is an adult and plays sports and owns a Porsche Cayenne not own a SCREWDRIVER?

Whatever the reason, we applaud (while shaking our heads disapprovingly) you, Grimy Swan. Or whatever your name is.

Full story @ Reuters