Imagine. You’re staying at a nice hotel with a sexy new fling. You just got done with a marathon night of sexin’ and drinkin’ champagne and sexin’ again. Your sexy fling slips out in the early morning, and you order yourself a massive breakfast to eat while watching Saturday morning cartoons (Tom and Jerry, none of this new CGI bullshit). You smile to yourself, because WHAT A GREAT DAY THIS IS. You think you’ll probably take a nap and then hit the pool because the weather is unseasonably warm and you’d like to catch some rays before meeting up with friends for drinks later. Maybe you’ll even go to the gym and the mall for a new outfit. Who knows? THE DAY IS YOUR OYSTER. Now let’s just sneak out real quick and put this tray outside (naked, because no one is awake yet, and also what a show of your body confidence), and then-

Oh.

OH F*CK.