File this under O for OHHHH SNAP – turns out it was much more than some light-hearted groping that caused the split of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver!

According to ETOnline, Arnold has released a statement to the LA Times regarding his divorce, claiming that over a decade ago, before he ran for state office, he had an affair and fathered a love child with a long time member of the family’s household staff.

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago,” Schwarzenegger said Monday night in a statement issued to The Times in response to questions. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.

According to a source who leaked the story before the official statement by Arnold (who is most definitely going to hell, BTW), the Governor had been providing child support to the staff member for the past ten years, despite the woman’s insistence that the child belonged to her then-husband.

Arnold went on to request that the media not harass his family, which we are SURE the paparazzi will respect because they are honorable people with legitimate concerns for the well beings of their subjects. HAHAHA JUST KIDDING, they’ll probably follow Maria Shriver into the bathroom now.

We wish the family luck, but have to wonder how much that woman was getting to raise the kid and keep her mouth shut. Probably like, $400 a month, right? HAHAHA JUST KIDDING AGAIN, it was probably a number I’d never even heard of before.