I remember when I got my first cell phone. I was 17. It was this weird bubbly lookin’ Kyocera thing, and my parents (smart as they were) picked a pay-as-you-go plan so that I wouldn’t end up accidentally charging their accounts 200 bucks by talking on the phone for three hours to my friend in Arizona about how I thought my boyfriend was secretly seeing a girl he met on Friendster (spoiler alert: he was). Plus, although it had a crappy little camera on it, I couldn’t send picture messages because they cost more than regular texts. It was a brilliant, although soul-crushing, way to keep me under their thumb. Bravo, parents.

That long, drawn out, unnecessary story was merely a preface to the news that Anthony Weiner’s unclothed penis pic has officially hit the net. Provided by political commentator and grade-A douchebag  Andrew Breitbart on the Sirius radio show Opie and Anthony, the blurry cell phone pic is allegedly the last photo in the Anthony Weiner scandal.

I propose that we enact a new ceremony when people become political figureheads. After they are sworn in, they then hand over their Blackberry or iPhone, which then has its battery removed, is then stabbed in the screen, and tossed into a firepit.  Only then are they handed a crappy 2002 Kyocera phone with a pay-as-you-go plan and are only given minutes cards by their press secretaries, who are instructed to go through and hunt for any suspicious activity.

Obviously, as we’ve learned in the last few years, politicians are like horny children with too much freedom and a big ass allowance. It is time we treat them as such.

Check out the NSFW Weiner weiner below, and remember people… the internet is forever.