As a bleeding heart hippie liberal who thinks we should all ride bikes everywhere and have free health care, I tend to treat Fox News Station the way I would a senile great-grandfather. Lots of eye-rolling, “uh-huh”s, and the occasional desire to shove an ether soaked rag in his mouth. However, on this blog I try to be as level-headed as possible, so I will present this weeks “Obviously Obvious News” with a grain of salt – this is BCU’s Sort of Obvious News I Guess But Hey Maybe Not That Obvious If You’re Dumb a Quizzical 2 Year Old American.

During the post-Osama-capture media blitz, Fox News decided to ask the American public a real, legitimate, hard-hitting question: “Do you believe Usama (why do they insist on spelling it that way?) bin Laden was greeted by 72 virgins in heaven or did he meet a more negative end?”

According to CBS News, the results were exactly what you’d f***ing think they’d be intriguing: only 3% of Americans believed that Osama got his 7 dozen virgins, while 80% said he met “a more negative end,” and 17% said they were “unsure.”

My favorite result is the “unsure” crowd. Like they answered a poll question that was obviously engineered to show two polar opposites, and thought, “You know, Osama might be in hell, but he might also be sitting up on a cloud getting blowies and handies from a crowd of freshly dead 20 year olds. I’m JUST NOT SURE.”

Maybe I’m being cynical, and maybe, just maybe, I am completely wrong, but I would says it’s FAIRLY OBVIOUS that OSAMA BIN LADIN is NOT surrounded by virgins in heaven right now. JUST A THOUGHT.