Sometimes I’m researching for BCU and I’m like, you know what we haven’t talked about in a long time? Obviously Obvious News! And then I’m like, well maybe that’s because the world has finally stopped reporting on utterly inane sh-t because it realizes that all that does is further our communal stupidity level and stop us from desiring to learn and do more with our lives? And then I find this.

!!!Breaking News: “American Men Think They Are Better in Bed Than They Actually Are!!!!” a shocking news report from the Journal of Sexual Medicine!!!!

According to a study by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, 85% of men said that the last woman they had sex with had an orgasm, but only 64% of women said they had an orgasm the last time they had sex. Which means, and this will be no shock to the ladies, 24% of them were, well… fakin’ it.

Dudes: Okay. I’m sorry. I know this might actually be news to you. If it is, and if your little hearts just sank to the bottom of your belly because you were convinced that you were the master of the horizontal tango, then, well, I’m sorry.

Ladies: HAHAHAHAHA, right? So much duh, right?

Back to the dudes. Let’s talk about this. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but the truth hurts, and all you can do is learn from it. So remember to (cue 12 year old boy humor) FART:

F- FOREPLAY is critical!

A- ASK what she likes!

R- RESPOND to her reactions!

T- TRY your best, but don’t expect her to finish every time. The more you pressure her to, the more likely you are to receive “less-than-genuine” shouts of ecstasy. I promise.

Good luck out there, gentlemen.