You probably know them as America’s First Top Model and Peter Brady from the Brady Bunch, AKA Famous People Who Have No Business Still Being Famous, but their real names are Adrienne Curry and Christopher Knight, and they are next up in a long line of celebrities getting divorced. According to Hollyscoop, the reality star couple, who first met during the filming of the Surreal Life, have officially called it quits on the fifth anniversary of their wedding. Via Hollyscoop:

“Actor Christopher Knight and his wife, model and television star Adrianne Curry have announced today on their five-year wedding anniversary that they are separating,” Viardo confirmed to Hollyscoop.

“After starting a relationship with what seemed to be irreconcilable differences, the couple has reached a period where those differences are no longer appreciated. The decision was mutually reached after it became clear to both that some perspective was needed in order to assess their unique union. Not unlike all marriages, work must be put in.

“Obvious to both Knight and Curry was that their marriage would require more effort then a garden-variety relationship. They are taking time to see if they want to continue to put in that extraordinary effort. The couple has mutually determined that they are at a place where moving forward will require a step back. They still love one another but need some distance to consider their future.

“Both Knight and Curry decided to release this joint announcement today in order to preempt any potential rumors and gossip and ask that their fans and the media respect their privacy during this delicate period.”

First off – can we all agree that this press release regarding their divorce is WAY too long considering the fact that they are both total has-beens, and that they could have easily gotten divorced and not said a word and none of us would have noticed? I mean, this would be a long statement from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, let alone a 70s child star and a reality show winner who hasn’t had a job since.

And second, sorry for the mean words you two, and thanks for giving us reason #20,087 not to get married: you already had irreconcilable differences?!?! DUH?!? Why two people who hated each other so intensely would ever attempt a relationship is beyond me. And don’t even start with that “our differences make us stronger” crap. Sure, sometimes you meet someone you hate, and then you two have “hate sex” and its awesome, but in the long run you’re gonna go back to hating them again. End of story.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna go check out pictures of Adrienne Curry in nerd-sex outfits. Happy Tuesday.