BCU’s history with the state of Florida has been a spotty one. On one hand, we LOVE Miami. Miami is awesome. Disney World is there and that place is pretty awesome, and the Florida Keys, well, you can’t get much more beautiful than that. But in the last few months of our Dumb Criminal Offs and Public Brawls and now Hiding Things in Your Vagina segments, we’ve seen that Florida has got more than its fair share of hot messes.

And now we might be able to say that the people in control of the state, those select individuals whose mental prowess and sense of morality were voted into power by the public, are JUST AS DUMB AS THE REST OF THE POPULATION.

According to the Huffington Post, a recent anti-bestiality bill was pushed into law that might have actually banned sex, with anyone, for all the citizens of Florida. Via the law, the banned activity includes –

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

So what’s the problem there? WELL APPARENTLY, the Florida government skipped grades 3 through 12 because they didn’t remember that we, as HUMAN BEINGS, are ANIMALS. And yes, it’s obviously a silly mistake, and we all get what they mean, but still – you’d think the people mandating who and what we are allowed to have sex with would make the proper distinctions. And it would be one thing if this scientific fact was revealed only in Super Impossibly Advanced Studies in Biology 551 at MIT, but that’s not the case – we all heard “humans are animals” in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

I think it’s time to let Florida secede already. And then they can go knock out fast food cashiers, run around naked, with rusty knives hidden in their vaginas all while being celibate because some guy couldn’t keep his penis out of a goat, and we won’t ever have to hear about it! HOORAYYY!