As a person who could probably eat an entire can of Pringles in a sitting (and by ‘could probably’ I mean ‘has on several occasions’), I’ve never really understood the excitement behind cupcakes. They are way too sweet, they give me a tummy ache, and should only ever be consumed one at a time instead of by the handful.

Apparently I’m the only one, though, because there are stores that sell $4 cupcakes, DID YOU KNOW THAT? And they don’t even taste that good, honestly, they’re just so fancied up with decorations and golf leaf and junk that the glorified bakers feel entitled to charge you half your rent for a dozen. NO THANKS.

Needless to say, the cupcake trend is now flowing over into my personal favorite dessert, vodka. According to Buzzfeed, a company has developed cupcake flavored vodka, and thinking about it is giving me a hangover. The drink is almost 80 proof and comes in flavors ranging from original cupcake, Chiffon, Devil’s Food, and oh of course why not FROSTING. Because how many times have you thought, hmm, tonight I want to drink liquid frosting that burns my esophagus, and then tomorrow I want to taste it coming back up out my mouth and nose for three hours. SIGN ME UP!