Hey, how was your St. Patrick’s Day? Are you feeling as awesome as I am because I feel like a tiny leprechaun is jack-hammering my brain. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I learned some unsettling information: there is a cloud of radiation headed towards the United States. Luckily, it’s Friday, so we can all at least celebrate the end of our brain function by continuing the St. Patrick’s Day spirit by partying our faces off in this week’s Weekend To Dos: Radiation edition.

1. Stay inside

According to reports, the plume of radiation coming from Japan’s nuclear meltdown will begin hitting us as early as today. Guard your brain by staying inside: sleeping in, watching movies, pigging out, whatever you want to indulge in. Considering by Monday your brain might look like a microwaved egg, you might as well stay in bed.

2. Go outside

On the other hand, why not say SCREW YOU to the radiation and hang out outside? Like I said before, your brain is probably gonna be the size and texture of a Jello shot by the time the weekend ends so I guess why not try and absorb all the radiation you can? Who knows, maybe it’ll turn you into a superhero. Or maybe you’ll just become a walking potato. Who knows.

3. Create an emergency party kit

Assuming civilization as we know it might be on it’s way out (again), you might want to create an emergency kit for post-apocalyptic partying. Stock beer, liquor, batteries, battery powered disco lights, bar snacks, and whatever else you need for a bad-ass party in a box labeled “NECESSARY” and keep it by your door at all times. That way, once the power is out and people are terrified (and sober) you can corner the market on end-of-the-world boozing. You’ll be a millionaire, except there won’t be money, only cat skulls.