Or at least his image wins…

This past weekend was the 5th Anniversary of the PokerStars.com Sunday Million Tournament, and the winner of the big pool may have been THE Charlie Sheen, sitting in his “goddess mansion,” winning over a million dollars in cash and prizes on his laptop while getting a foot massage and a BJ at the same time.

The tournament, which celebrated its fifth year with an astounding 59,128 players and $11,825,600.00 in the prize pool, guaranteed the first place player a million dollars and a brand new Lambourghini Gallardo. The tournament flew by and within 12 hours, the final table came to a head, and there was a famous face among the nine – one Bdbeatslayer with the notorious Charlie Sheen as his avatar. Every time the player won a hand, the audience following along at home blasted his now infamous Good Morning America phrase, “WINNING!” Eventually, after an hour and a half and a nine-handed chop of the pool, the third-place player walked away with $844,000. Players sheppyshape and Bdbeatslayer were the only two remaining and the final crawl to the finish was on.

It took a tension-filled twenty minutes to wrestle player “sheppyshape” to the ground, but then it happened. Bdbeatslayer was crowned champion and walked away with $671,093.81, the Sunday Million 5th Anniversary title, and a Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. Pretty solid pay for one day of work, we’d say.

We began to wonder if maybe it really was old Charlie behind the screen name, puffing on a cigar and slowly racking in the chips. I mean, really, how are we to know? Who’s to say that the entire final table wasn’t made up of a bunch of kids with Asperger’s and Sir Tiger Blood himself? The final word was that Bdbeatslayer was a fuzzy-faced poker ace named Luke Vrabel, but in our dreams, it was the Sheenster himself, WINNING online poker just like he’s WINNING everything else.