Someday in the future, people are going to look back at February 27, 2011, and talk about the incredibly important television event that rocked the airwaves and changed the level of entertainment industry discourse for all time. I am speaking, of course, The Jimmy Kimmel Show digital short “Hottie Body Hump Club,” starring EVERY HOT WOMAN IN HOLLYWOOD EVER (and Lindsey Lohan) HUMPING EXERCISE BALLS OH MY GOD.

In this masterpiece, this unparalleled work of artistic brilliance, we get to see Scarlett Johansson, Sofia Vergara, Minka Kelly, Kelly Ripa, Jessica Biel, Emily Blunt, Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria (and Lindsey Lohan, but you can’t be perfect) thrusting away in what Jimmy called Humpilates, but what we call GOD’S FLAWLESS (except Lindsey Lohan) GIFT TO YOUTUBE.

Many thanks to Jimmy for helping clean the disgusting taste of the Oscars out of my mouth.