It’s time for another edition of “Stories Behind the Crime Report.“

Meet Rodney Knight. A DC resident and aspiring party-planner, Rodney thought it would be a great idea to let the local residents know the excitement and fun that he could bring to a surprise birthday party (because surprise parties, of course, are the best type of parties).

So one night, he carefully snuck into a potential client’s home (in his warmest winter coat, of course, it’s cold out!), opened up the home’s laptop, snapped a picture of himself holding a bunch of cash and pointing at the camera, as if to say MY PARTIES ARE PRICELESS!! Then he proceeded to upload the photo to the client’s Facebook page. He hoped that once the client returned home, they would see the photo, think, “WHAT A GREAT SURPRISE PARTY PLANNER!” and call him immediately to set up a party for a friend the following week. As Rodney snuck out the window, he smiled. This could be the career move that would take his dream to a whole new level.

JUST KIDDING.

This idiot douche bag broke into a family’s house last December, helped himself to 2 laptops, a winter coat, and about $400 in cash. He then took a photo of himself ON THE LAPTOP, WEARING THE COAT, and HOLDING THE CASH, and then POSTED THE PHOTO on the Facebook wall of ONE OF THE RESIDENTS OF THE HOUSE. I don’t really think it is humanly possible to get any dumber than this. Obviously, Stupid McDumbDumb was arrested pretty quickly after POSTING HIS OWN WANTED POSTER, and this past week plead guilty in court to second-degree burglary and carrying a pistol without a license.

Here’s to technology: slowly thinning out the pack by picking out the idiots and sending them to jail. CHEERS.