I’m pretty sure that by the end of this next decade, we’re all going to realize that each and every tangible or non-tangible thing on Earth is proof that marriage is unnatural. From our historical analysis of how Marriage is Outdated to the countless cases of marriage-induced insanity, there just seem to be no viable excuses for getting married these days. Even science is boarding the Singles Bus, with their evidence that marriage insecurity can give people heart attacks and that much of the American public thinks marriage is obsolete.

And now, the one thing we singles count on 99% of the time, The Wonderful Invention of the Oral Contraceptive, may also be a set up for divorce as well. According to Psychology Today, more than looks, personality, and sexual compatibility, humans are drawn to each others immune systems’ scents. The segment of our DNA called the major histocompatibilty complex, or MHC, tends to draw us to a person with a completely different MHC, so as to mate with someone who could help create the widest array of disease resistance possible. Women are drawn sexually to men with the opposite MHC of their own, and drawn in a comforting father/brother way to those with similar MHC. Basically our bodies want us to bone down to create superhuman babies. Basically.

According to the studies of Claus Wedekind of the University of Bern in Switzerland, being on the pill causes women to get this aspect all wrong. In tests where women were asked to rate smells as either sexually appealing or reminiscent of their brothers and fathers, women who weren’t on the pill rated the smells the way nature intended them. Women on the pill, though, chose the similar MHCs as sexually appealing and opposite MHCs as comforting. The idea is that because The Pill tricks women into believing they are pregnant, their desire turns to being nurtured instead of reproducing.

What does this all mean?

Well, say you meet a woman, you fall in love, she loves you and you love her. She’s also on the pill. Well, once you get married and she decides to stop taking the contraceptives, her entire hormonal being is shifted, and her body could potentially realize that you actually have a similar MHC to her, instead of the opposite MHC that nature insists upon. Like waking up from a 5 year long sleep, she’ll suddenly wonder WTF she was doing with you in the first place. A common marriage therapy complaint confirms the hypothesis, as many “counselors say that a complaint from women who want to end a relationship is, ‘I can’t stand his smell.’”

What is there to do?

Well, the obvious choice here is to not get married. You can date forever and if she decides to stop The Pill and realize you disgust her, the relationship can end, no harm done. What if you had to get a divorce lawyer and pay alimony out the wazoo and the reasoning on the divorce papers just said “ORTHO TRI-CYCLIN LOW HYPNOSIS.”

If you do insist on getting married though, many psychologists suggest you try living together with her not on oral contraceptives before taking the leap.

(Hint: go with choice A)