Now that we’ve gone over the potentially disastrous parts of this weekends testosterone-fest, let’s lighten the mood with a pleasant look at the top 5 super bad-ass, TOTALLY UNBEATABLE parts of Super Bowl weekend.

1) The Great Bar Vs Barbeque Party War

Every year, my group of friends debates for a solid month and a half about whether or not we’re going to watch the Super Bowl at a bar or at a house BBQ. I always lead Team BBQ, because a) I’m a cheap-ass, b) I make the best seven layer dip, and c) pretty much mostly the cheap-ass part. However, it’s always fun to picture-text-war with your friends to see who is at the more awesome party. This year, whether you end up at home or out in public, remember: this is the only exciting thing that is going to happen until… like, what… St. Patrick’s Day? Make it count!

2) Girls + Football – Paying Attention to Girls = AWESOME

Look, as a lady who honestly knows very little (re: practically nothing) about football, but who enjoys to party, even I know this weekend is perfect for mixed groups of friends. Think about it: you, all your buddies, football, beer, hot girls in tiny jerseys, and also hot girls in tiny jerseys who can’t get mad if you don’t pay attention to them. We can sit in our corner of friends and talk about how much we “don’t understand this game” and “can’t wait ’till it’s over” but in reality, we are NOT allowed to bother you during the Super Bowl. It’s like, woman code.

3) The Super Bowl Drinking Game

This year, we at the BCU offices are concocting quite the DOOZY of a Super Bowl drinking game, which may involving printing out PENALTY CARDS with #s of drinks on them and handing them to people doing annoying things. Check back in for that one tomorrow.[Note: combining a Steeler loss with too many shots of Jameson and a card that says “Unnecessary Douche-ness” may result in a major ass-kicking. We are not responsible for that.]

4) The battle of America’s Next Top Football Team

I recently noticed that if you type in Super Bowl XLV into Google, like 50% of the articles are about deciding which team is more “American.” Well, the Steelers have won 6 Super Bowls. The Packers are the only publicly owned NFL team. The Steelers have the most Hall of Fame inductees. The Packers are from the smallest city in the league. For some odd reason they’re both really proud that they don’t have cheerleaders even though what the hell am I supposed to look at when the commercials end? Needless to say, the only thing holding one of them back from being the Official America’s Next Top Football Team is winning this Super Bowl. So I assume that whatever team loses get immediate membership to Al Qaeda WHICH IS AWESOME.

5) What are sure to be inspired, insightful, and not at all drunk Super Bowl tweets from other NFLers

I know that I included this on the top 5 WORST things about this weekend, but really, I don’t know what I was thinking. Fingers crossed that someone starts another Tweet battle with Jesus Christ Himself!

I look forward to this weekend every year, and even though I have literally zero emotional investment in either team, I suppose that might make it even more fun. Although I do hate Ben Roethlisberger’s head shape. It’s sort of like the gopher from Caddyshack, except if the gopher was an alleged rapist.

Hmm.

GO PACKERS.