Some people work in oils, water colors, or granite. Those guys are big pu***s.

The real artists of our age work in tiny Vienna Sausages and guacamole. That’s right, our Countdown to the Superbowl Day 5 post is an ode to the most masterful of football foods: the SNACK-ADIUM.

There are many types of Snackadiums, all which masterfully deliver to each party-goer’s snack needs. Some need the spice, some want salty, and others want sweet (no thanks, I’m not 5 years old), but with one solid snackadium, you can deliver to each individual’s taste buds without having to wait for the perpetually stoned delivery dude. BCU is helping you out with some tips on creating your ULTIMATE snackadium for whatever size your Super Bowl party might be.

For just a couple people:

As you can see, this smaller snackadium is the perfect size for two to three buddies or your family this weekend. The last thing you want is to be left with a ton of food that won’t last, so make sure you make it small enough that you won’t be wasting a ton of food. Got some spicy Cheetohs, crackers and Doritos and carefully place them around the sides of a medium sized aluminum roasting pan, and divide them with big pretzel chips. In the middle, equally divide the three dips: cheese dip, guacamoles, and salsa. Feel free to have way more guacamole than salsa because guacamole is better than… well, anything. Line the “field” of guacamole with sour cream and stick small people cheese sticks in the middle. Proceed to grub.

For a bigger party with a sweeter tooth:

This one comes to use from the guys at HolyTaco.com, who took the snackadium to a masterful level with Slim Jim uprights and a Twinkie exterior. For the full instructions on how to construct this guy, check out the guide at HolyTaco.com. They’ll guide even the least cooking savvy man to greatness. But before you go, here is a grocery list so you make sure you get everything you need:

1 Pound of Guacamole
15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone
15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone
2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines
15 Vienna Sausages
Helmets – 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post
1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)
58 Twinkies
1 Pound of Bacon
1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 Bag of Cheetos
1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips
1 Bag of Chex Mix

For the most glorious combination of gluttony and art you ever have or ever will see

I really thought there might be a chance that someone, somewhere might outdo the folks at Break Media and make a more awesome Snackadium than this one, but I guess it just cannot be done. With its unbelievable size and plethora of goodies, it almost has an air of “looks too good to eat” to it, minus the fact that I want to eat every last bit of it. We featured this incredible work of art last year right around this time, but it seems as though no one could even muster up a rival for this delicious-looking work of snack-itecture If you have the time and effort to put into creating something of this magnitude, you would be a master among men. Find the ingredients and calorie counts here, but don’t say we didn’t warn you… it’s pretty horrible.

DO IT!