The coming weekend of divisional playoff games is set to be an exciting one. You can tell because dudes around the world were already setting their weekend plans before the last game was even over. “SWEET TOUCHDOWN, MARSHAWN but seriously guys down to the real business. Whose house are we going to sh*t all over next weekend?”

So, apparently, was this dude. Who is TOTALLY STRAIGHT, you guys, JUST CURIOUS, OKAY, but wants to have a gentleman’s bet over the Seahawks – Bears game on Saturday wherein the winner receives, obviously, a BJ. In fact, he is SO straight that he’s tough enough for a double bet based on half-time points, where the winner receives, OBVIOUSLY, a BJ.

I just really wish there was some way to follow up on Craigslist posts like this. Like, once the Bears win, how will we know if Mr 5.5 uncut got his blow-jeezy? Or if by some last-weekend-like fluke the Seahawks win, if 5.5 Uncut holds up to his end of the deal or ends up puking all over some dude’s lap? THESE ARE IMPORTANT DETAILS I NEED TO KNOW.