Take note, American government. Instead of continuing the tax breaks for the top 2% of Americans (who, let’s be honest, are all pretty much a**holes), we should take a page out of a German city’s book and start taxing prostitution. According to Reuters, Dortmund, Germany is now enacting a “pleasure tax,” which requires prostitutes in the area to purchase a 6 euro “day ticket” for the days that they work, or be subject to a fine.

In Germany, although you might not know this, prostitution is legal, and sex workers are actually required to pay taxes on their income, just like anyone in any other job, which is AWESOME. In the US, where prostitution is not only frowned upon but illegal, we could be missing out on tons of federal income. And for a nation that is spending billions on war but somehow can’t afford to give hard-working poor people access to health care, I would have to say we’re not exactly morally “above” a tax of that nature.

Plus, imagine the advertising industry for prostitutes! They could wear uniforms and work from fancy buildings and do their kegels in cubicles instead of on shady looking street corners. Plus, they’re more likely to be STD free and less addicted to drugs. Honestly, it’s a win-win situation. I call for the creation of Proposition 69, legalize and tax prostitution (AHAHA, get it?).

All in favor say, “Aw hellll yeah!”