How sad is it to think that just a few short years ago, this glorious display would have happened and disappeared in just a few short seconds and we would have never seen nor heard anything about it again? We’d have gone about our day completely oblivious to the fact that Donald Trump’s hair tried to ride the wind of freedom to a better place. All we’d have known about this Monday night was that the Patriots backhanded the Jets with a Revolutionary Era satin glove, instead of true, gritty story of thinning comb-overs and redemption.

Move over WikiLeaks, YouTube is the true whistleblower of our generation, and you heard it here first: Donald Trump is currently holding about 35 hair follicles against their will in inhumane conditions. Look at those poor things. They must be freezing! Donald Trump’s head is the Guantanamo Bay of scalps. GET THE WORD OUT.