Reason #408,970 to stay single: no one knows what women want!

After R&B sex symbol Usher began the  trending topic “#WhatDoWomenWant” yesterday, Twitter flooded with peoples’ ideas, from the mundane “to be always told their beautiful and good hair babies* ” to the practical “an unbreakable hair tie that always stays with you” to the hilarious “a chocolate penis that ejaculates money,” it was evident that at least among the Twitter crowd, no one can agree what women really want.

Women are complicated beings, not unlike an MC Esher painting or a tree trunk when you’ve taken too much PCP. And let’s be honest, ladies, we know it just as well as men do… in fact, we might be more confusing to ourselves: dudes get the wrath of hormonal changes and mood swings but we actually experience them, and have to somehow try and quell what is biologically built into our framework. Like, say, I don’t know, Bruce Banner trying to avoid becoming the Hulk, or a dude stopping his morning wood. Impossible, but we’re still expected to try.

Needless to say, if we could somehow all start putting off marriage until men get impotent and women hit menopause, maybe we’d all be better off, and could spend our remaining senile years doing crosswords and eating cream of rice. Until then, we vote for casual dating. All in favor sign into OBC today! ;)

*- Can someone please tutor Rob Kardashian in 5th grade English and Making Sense 101?